I got up to get a cup of coffee this morning and Butterscotch decided that since my fanny wasn't in it, the chair was his. I sat down anyway. We don't mind sharing. I was thinking to myself that I really should be doing something, but I wasn't yet motivated enough to figure out what. Sunshine, mild temperatures, no snow on the ground, I think it's Spring.
With His Highness in the chair, I can't exactly lean back in a more comfortable position. I could, but since my fanny is considerably larger than his whole body, the results would be disasterous. I reached through the arm of the chair and began to scratch his ears. He stretched out, wrapped his foreleg around my wrist and placed his entire head into my palm. Contentment sounds like a motorboat. Did you know that?
Unable to sit comfortably in the chair for the few minutes it takes Butterscotch to decide to move, I just sipped my coffee and listened to his purring. My mind tends to wander when I do that. Some of the places it wanders to are interesting and others are...well...less interesting. I need to wash the windows. Life looks so much better when the windows are clean.
Yesterday I bought a packet of flower seeds. Perennial Mix. The picture was pretty and it only cost $1. Plus tax. I don't know what types of flowers will grow from this mix, IF any grow at all. The list is on the back, in very fine print and my eyes are not what they used to be. I can't read fine print anymore, not without a magnifying glass. I could go and have my eyes examined. There are enough discount places here that it really shouldn't cost me that much. It's just easier to stop at Walmart and try on the "readers" they sell. Find a pair that works and I'm good to go. For awhile. Until the fine print starts blurring again.
It's too early here to plant the seeds outside. We aren't past the possibility of frost until Mother's Day in May. They won't bloom this year anyway. I was thinking that I'd plant most of the seeds here at the house and save some for Mom's grave. I'll have to check at Lowes to see what they have this year when they start selling flowers. Maybe some day lillies and Gerbera Daisies. Hosta looks nice too. I like the variegated leaf type. I need flowers. Pinks and reds and yellows, something besides the muddy mess I see through my not so clean windows.
I can't think of anything I truly want to write about anymore. At first I was thinking it was writer's block, this inability to finish a sentence in a way that pleases me. I'm not sure I'm even going to manage to finish this. At least not in any way that makes sense or satisfies me. Spring starts Saturday, the anniversary of Mom's death is on Monday. Along with State Sales Tax Day. I'll be filing that this afternoon. If the website isn't too busy. After that, I'm not sure what I'll do. It does no good to me to be producing something when I'm not happy with the product. Sometimes being ones own worst critic can be a terrible burden.
Whatever my problem is, and it is my problem, I know that finding another place online isn't going to cure it. It's just a matter of finding something that I'm missing at the moment. Might take a few days, might even be a week or two, but I'll be back as soon as I find my mojo again. In the meantime, I definitely have to wash those windows.
In the 4 years I've been online I've never had a problem with computer virus infections. I've browsed for graphics for my posts, spent time at various music sites, cartoon sites and done research into singers and rock groups at various websites. I've even used Twitter which is loaded with scams and spam without having any problem. I did get a potentially unwanted program from a friend's forwarded chain letter email, but other than that I've managed to use the computer and stay clean as a whistle. That all changed with a big bang this morning.
I have some glassware pieces and some china pieces that I wanted to learn more about. I spent hours online yesterday at various Depression Glass, Early American Pattern Glass and a few antique auction sales sites. I don't know how many I actually looked at, and at no time did I find any reason to think I was being infected. I went offline early last evening and shut the computer down. This morning I booted and started to do some bookwork for Hubby's business. Just as I got started I was interrupted by a pop up of my AVG Resident Shield telling me it had detected infections that it needed to take care of. I opened the program and sat here open mouthed while the list was compiled. The reason for the open mouth was that there were 36 of them. Two more surfaced during the daily scan. Total Trojan VB infections on all kinds of applications was 38. Plus 56 potentially unwanted programs.
All had to have been picked up from sites I looked at yesterday. I was in Twitter for awhile and I did look at some articles posted by users that I've been reading regularly. It doesn't seem to me that they would have suddenly become the source for a number of unwanted infections. I also spent a lot of time on many pages at an online dealers shop. It was a place where many dealers offer their collectibles and antiques for sale. Unfortunately that place was where I found the most help since it had pictures one could enlarge to compare the patterns on what I have in my possession to the verified patterns the dealers have in their possession.
I have 4 more pieces I'd like to research. I'm afraid to do it now since these sites seem to be infected. It does make sense to me, since the sale of collectible glassware and china is a very lucrative business, that these sites would be worthy of hacker attention. It isn't right or fair, but that appears to be the way it is. I'm not sure that finding out that I have expensive dustcatchers was worth the aggravation.
Hubby and I had a conversation last night over my lack of rent receipt for the month of March. Vivian had to pay a bill and didn't have enough money in her account to do so on time, so she popped in before March 1st to ask if I would mind paying her early. She said she'd drop off the receipt when she came to collect from the other 2 tenants here. She didn't.
Hubby is more trusting of people than I am and he's caught her in so many lies that he doesn't trust her at all. Neither do I, which is why I gave her a check. I have the check copy in my checkbook plus will have the canceled check when the statement comes on Monday so I'm not worried.
However, last night I dreamed that I was living in an apartment owned by a slum lord. The slum lord was Vivian. It was an apartment we lived in when I was a teenager, one that I enjoyed as it had a second floor porch. I used to enjoy sitting out there in nice weather reading. In the dream the apartment had an overflowing sewage problem that was getting deep enough to drown in and we couldn't get Vivian to fix the problem. That's slightly unfair to Vivan as she fixes things right away, she just has a habit of making one feel that somehow we misbehaved in a manner designed to drive her crazy with worry over things that go wrong. Plus she never actually gets anything fixed correctly since she tends to hire cheap help.
When I remember my dreams, which is seldom, I usually can see a direct correlation between the dream and the events of the day prior to it. Since the choice of abode in the dream was a childhood home I was pleased with, I'm assuming that my subconscious self believes that Vivan has destroyed everything I hold dear. That part I don't understand since while I have a negative opinion of her, I don't dislike her to the point of frustrating myself. I don't hate her, nor does she have the capability of ruining my pleasure at the location I'm living in. Most of the time, I just ignore her.
When you examine the conversation that took place last night, my opinion of Vivian and what Hubby does for a living, you have the roots of this particular dream. Which is an oversimplification of an event that Sigmund Freud felt was very complicated. He believed that dreams were the evidence of our subconscious processing our wish-fullfillment created by the days events. He also believed that these dreams were too complicated for us to understand what instigated the dream. Only trained psychologists and psychiatrists could interpret the meaning and help us understand who we are and how we can be cured of our neurotic behavior. I wonder what he would have made of my lack of remembrance of 99% of my dreams? Who in their right mind would wish to be drowning in sewage?
Ancient civilizations included priests and shamans whose only function was to interepret the dreams of their rulers. It was believed that dreams foretold the future. Native Americans were proactive in their attempts at controlling the future through the invention of dreamcatchers. If dreams were prophetic in nature, then what better way to insure a positive future than to catch negative dreams or nightmares in something that would prevent the dreamer from having the dream? No dreams of death and destruction, therefore no death and destruction? If dreams are prophetic in nature, should I have Hubby pump out the septic tank?
I suppose it doesn't really matter since most, if not all, of our dreams seldom come true. I know nothing about the origins of dreams or their true interpretation, so maybe there is a basis for claims that "It must have been something I ate". When looking at whether or not dreams are wish-fullfillment or prophecy, I'm inclined to believe the former rather than the latter. Which is too bad because some dreams really should come true.
The Miscreants Of Today Could Become The Leaders Of Tomorrow.
I think that by the time one is 18 years old one should have a level of maturity that should include compassion for others less fortunate. Apparently some people think they should be allowed to amuse themselves in whatever manner they deem necessary, and post it on Youtube.
On the local news tonight is a story about 2 young men, one 18 the other 16 who bound a cat's legs and tortured it with a hair dryer and electric clippers. They got caught because they posted their deed on Youtube. They've both been arrested and charged with Misdemeanor Animal Abuse. When I read the news website, it seems that they don't feel that what they did was abuse. The hairdryer was set on cool, and they only shaved some areas of the cat. Their lack of understanding about what abuse is appalls me.
I can't find the video on Youtube, but I am providing a link to the video from the news channels website. I watched it, I found it disturbing. If this is the regular behavior of our future leaders, I frankly am glad that I am old enough that I might not live to see that. We're in enough trouble now here in America, and if this is any indication, it's going to get worse.
There was an incident that happened many years ago. Accusations were made, fights got started and people left because they didn't agree with the tactics used during the argument. There was behind the scene gossip that created an environment of mistrust and yes, as much as I hate to say it, bullying. Sometimes when called upon to defend our opinions on any topic we can appear, to the party we're defending ourselves against, to be bullying others.
When online we can't see another persons fears or their tears, and sometimes we get so caught up in anger that we don't fully understand how we appear to others. It's a problem we don't have in real life because we can see facial expressions and hear the tone of voice of the person with whom we're conversing. Sometimes the things we say can hurt or anger that person and in real life we apologize and try to work it out. Somehow that doesn't happen online. I don't understand that, but that appears to be the way it is. We don't seem to be willing to extend the benefit of doubt. I don't know why.
We lost Donuts, Renegade and Quixote who were favorites of mine although Renegade was newer to me than the other two. All three left me private goodbyes and dissappeared into the ethernet never to be heard from again. After an attempt to defend himself against a false accusation, Lagniappe too left us. I didn't approve of his defense he could be angry at times and while I certainly understood his anger, his defense left me uncomfortable as it was a direct attack on two people that I enjoyed. It wasn't easy being in the middle. From my vantage point in the middle, I could see both the right and the wrong on both sides.
He would come back now and again to comment on my blog. Due to the problem he asked first if I had a problem with him commenting in public. I didn't as I knew his story and had no problem with him. Out of respect for his privacy I never disclosed the whole of it since he hadn't done so. He had, in parts, to those of us he trusted and in one other case I believe she too has his whole story. The last time he came back, Lagniappe shared his email with me and we began to correspond on a somewhat regular basis.
Shortly after our friend Anexplorer began his journey with esophageal cancer, Lagniappe was diagnosed with the same disease. I didn't ask questions regarding his treatment as he had said that he would continue to correspond with me as his condition and comfort level allowed. I still received emails from him although not as often. Then there was an 8 month gap during which he was receiving treatment. On November 25, 2009 I received an email from him titled: "Still on the green side of the grass" during which he said that he had been unable to sit up long enough to use his computer until then.
I answered him and received another one on the 7th of December. "way back when i was first diagnosed i told you and you mentioned there seemed to be a plethora of cancerous esophagus in your area including a relative as i recall (caution:that's as I recall). heard any more from any of them? the greatest pain has to be the dwindling of finances for what has been termed "defensive medicine". Tests, procedures and scans that seem astonishingly redundant but in every instance the docs have some slight reason. I was diagnosed following a routine EGD. that was followed by another procedure to more clearly identify what they already knew. Barretts' esophagus can only appear in one place. two CT scans and a PET scan later they finally figured out what and where. Geez! Inspite of good insurance, 20% of a mountain is still quite a foothill. please feel free to share any and all positive things. the last positive i can recall was your getting a kitten. I had a septic installed last summer to the tune of $14,000. two tanks 1000/500 and a pump out to three 40 foot drain fields. no gravel, just some weird looking stuff. ask hubby if that seemes about right. comfortable with Mr. Obama? how will his plans effect your nursing stuff? more soon,"
I received one more email on Dec. 12, 2009, in it he was much more straightforward. "i'm not sure i am going to survive this. i've lost so much weight. but time moves on. after the army and college i never had fewer than 3 cats at a time. i find them most interesting and am continually amazed in the subtle differences one to another. although i have two sweet cocker spaniels they pale, personality wise, to cats. funny how vets act as though these animals are going to leave dressings and bandages alone! i don't envy your weather. does 'lake effect' snow reach as far inland as your settlement?"
That was the last I heard from him. And yes Tom, time has moved on, but I still remember. I miss you my friend.
